Why I Hate Alligators 

  Once, some well-meaning moron gave me a duckling.
  I loved my duckling, during the brief time that I owned him. I fed and watered him. I walked him on a little red leash. I let him play in the bathtub.

  I named him,"Ducky."

  I wasn't a very imaginative kid.

  My mother had a pet, too... an alligator,whom I had named,"Al."
  (What did you expect?I already TOLD you that I wasn't creative).

 One day, I was playing with Ducky in my room. I took a restroom break and saw Al, swimming in the bathtub.

 Mother was cleaning his tank.

 Al looked bored. He was just floating, like a log.

  I felt sorry for him,sitting all alone in that big water.

 As I returned to my room, I had a brilliant thought.

  Al likes water. Ducky likes water. Maybe... just maybe... they could be friends!

  I took Ducky from my room, and carried him to the tub. Carefully, I set him in the water.

  Ducky swam to the end of the tub, near the drain, and paddled around in a flurry.

  Al just remained motionless, like a log.

  After a few minutes, I had another brainstorm.

  At daycare, when the teacher wanted us to play with each other, she gave us toys.

  I thought very hard... I was SURE I had some toys that might be suitable for these reluctant pals.

 I ran to my room, and dug through my toy box.

  A ball... that was good. Maybe, a boat?

  Suddenly, I heard a shriek.

  When I got to the bathroom, where my mother was wailing, I saw Al...

  Still motionless, like a log.

  Ducky was still at the other end, near the drain.

  Ducky was over by the side, where the shampoo was.

  Ducky was on the other side, where we hung the washcloth.


  There was Ducky, all OVER the place.

  A few days later, Mother donated Al to the Baltimore Zoo.

  I had lost my Ducky, and his killer was living the good life at my favorite zoo. It wasn't fair.

  Every year, though, when we travel to Florida...I eat a big serving of alligator.

  I do it for Ducky.


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