Well, to begin with... this site!
Honestly, Chew and I already have SO many irons in the fire, I wasn't really sure that adding another website would be the best idea.
This is a work in progress... we appreciate your patience, as we get it all figured out!
You asked for it... here it is!
My first attempts at blogging.
- Why don't the enemies of the Ninja Turtles just flip them over onto their backs?
- LIKE if you still have to whisper “Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty” to yourself.
- My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
- Of course I don’t hold grudges! I’m a woman, I carry them around in a cute little organizer, color-coded by offensiveness, and tucked into a matching purse.
- Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout?"
- They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Well, nothing has killed me yet, and I can still barely open a jar of olives.
- A relationship without trust is like a cellphone without service, you just play games and get frustrated.
- If you are having anxiety over something you've said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
- Sorry about that time I got drunk, and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
- My friend just ended a long-term relationship today ... she's ok though, it wasn’t hers.
- "It's not about who's right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
- Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the heck out of it?”
- Yawning is our body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.
- Ironically the only way I'd watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
- Male or Female, no one messes with you if you put your lipstick on like the Joker.
-I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble, from the front of my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. How is YOUR day going?
- Today, I'm feeling as useful as a stoplight in "Grand Theft Auto."
- Dear lady who "shushed" your baby, in the library... I'm not sure you've grasped the concept of how babies work
- The Internet... an electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room, again?"
- My jeans say that I need to lose weight, but my sweatpants are, like, "Nah, girl... you're good."
- I think the mail carrier is stealing all of my "Nigerian Lottery Checks."
Feel free to contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org !